Thursday, August 23, 2012

Maisha Mazuri...

  100% of the proceeds from the sale of this single will go to the Forever Young Foundation in Ghana. Single available soon on iTunes

"Life is a gift receive it" Alex Boye'

    I learned a good while ago that my situation does not allow me to get too personal in the blog world, tender hearts deserve to be unprovoked. This actually turned out to be a blessing. My trials and my heartaches are not out there for the world...neither are my immense joys and glorious triumphs. So suffice it to say I do not often share personal details here in Blog land...

    This morning, this first day of school however I have been moved to express my heart and all the strange and new emotions I have been discovering as a mother in an awkward situation.

   If you know me or have been a follower for a while you know we have a Brady Bunch thing going on here! A literal Yours, Mine, and Ours. "They" say it takes seven years for the typical blended family to, well...Blend!  For the first time in what will be seven years in December since we became a part of each others lives... I feel as though we are functioning as a "normal" family. Standing by one another, rejoicing the joy and feeling sorrow for the pain. Supporting the positive connections our children have with all who love them.

    We are never ever without tribulations. It feels as though we get one situation under control as another prepares for it's debut. Thankfully these are the times we become stronger. Raising a child from a previous relationship is challenging in every way. It became apparent some months ago that my husband and I were left with no choice but to take drastic measures against my daughters natural father.

    Have you ever had to sit your most precious possession down and break her heart right in two. I have, and I remember when that little girl was me. Scuffed up sneakers and tears on the front porch waiting for a father who never came... By the end of September the adoption of my daughter by my husband should be finalized. 

    I was speaking with a friend about the goings on in the adoption when she casually said "It must be wonderful to know you have the power to keep her away from her father and his choices!" I could not respond for the lump in my throat. My sweet baby! The little girl that was by my side for many years as we faced the world alone just her and I. The precious little one who was comforting me, little fat hand patting me on the back and telling me "Mom, I OK!" after putting her bottom teeth through her lip. The sweetest gift I have ever received...

   It is not as gratifying as one may think to have this "power" it is in fact heartbreaking, because her father cannot make positive choices in his life, I have to be the bad guy. Since he refuses to look his child in the eye and without any doubts make his life a safe place for her...well, you get the picture. I do not want to take her father away from her. I do not want to replace him, nor does my husband, but it is up to us to protect her after all these years of disillusion. I want the world for all of my children  I bawled like a baby after my step daughter got on the bus this morning...turning around to wave with that quiet smile. This morning I felt my heart strings being tugged by the crooked smile of my toddler. Laughed as my new to the fourth grader nervously approached the school... my world

   Last week we learned that my daughters father had been sentenced to spend the next several years in prison. Can you imagine how that must feel to a wide eyed little girl who does not have the capacity to understand the gravity of the situations revolving around her, or why! Wondering if it is her fault. Could you find the words to explain to a child that they will not be seeing their parent any time in the near future all due to the choices he has chosen. How unfair to do this to her. What was he thinking! Does he have any clue what he will miss? Does he care? He was transferred from County jail to the State prison on her birthday....

   My angel has remained strong through this enduring process. We have done our best to protect her from the unnecessary details and focus on the positive aspects of the situation. She was all grins and giggles when we were able to register her for school with her new last name. The odd one out for years finally will have the same last name as her family. She is a shining example to me of how strong the heart can be, putting on her brave face and facing the day one step at a time.

    It is in times like these that we need a hero...

    My daughters love affair with Alex Boye' started immediately upon hearing Peponi She sat mesmerized watching as he sang his heart out atop the Red Rocks. More often than not we  listen to Peponi repeatedly in the car arriving at our destination feeling absolute peace. The man is truly gifted!

    My amazing sister Maggie had a symphonic fundraiser and through much hard work pulled off a night that will not soon be forgotten. Alex Boye' was the Emcee. My daughter was elated! However that Saturday morning was a disaster. We had to fight tooth and nail to get out the door in one piece and very nearly did not make it to any of the events planned for the day. You see our first stop of the day was to tour the newly built temple in my hometown, so of course it was a rather difficult morning. If the Lord works in mysterious ways you better bet his counter part does as well! For the first time in months my husband and I had been bickering endlessly!

   We drove separate cars so my husband could return early with Sweet Baby K. Thirty miles and over the hill. I had my daughter in my car, and I knew I needed to tenderly approach her about her father. I had been putting it off for days. The soft, sparkling tears rolling down her face said everything she could not...

    The night was going strong and the symphony was a success! My daughter had met Alex and was on cloud nine. Little did she know her favorite song would have a special dedication. "To a cute young girl" I scoured the crowd looking for her to be sure she heard Alex. I could not find her anywhere! Right before panic set in I spotted her front and center. Sitting on the grass cross legged and starry eyed...Stopping to pose for this picture and to autograph our CD's, Alex's performance was show stopping! He brought tears to our eyes with his rendition of "How Great Thou Art"

   We laughed till we cried when the local Boy Scouts got on stage! And since then have been known to bust out a "I'm a funky Weebalo!" while in Wal Mart... It was an amazing night that changed a little girl forever. Curious to know more we did a little research and found that the story of Alex Boye is an amazing one, littered with heartache, sacrifice and great triumph. To be in the presence of this man is to feel the Spirit so strong and true...

    Since last Saturday I have caught my heartbroken little girl smiling and humming softly to herself. Someone special took the time to make her feel special in her time of need and it shows in her every move. It has made me stop and think of how the "power" of kindness, generosity and genuine heart can change someones life. You may never even know that you made a difference, but those few kind words, that shared friendly smile, the encouraging pat on the back may change the perspective and heart of someone you had no idea was in need....

Thank you




  1. The power of a simple kindness. If only everyone in the world took that and made more of an effort to bestow a kindness on a stranger. I''m sure your daughter is learning some great values from you and your husband and she will grow up to reflect that in her adult life. That's all we can hope for, right? When their best interests are our focus, we are doing the right thing by them! Blessings!

  2. Hey Kim! How are things? I hope they are on the up! I came from a eerily similar situation as my the time I just remember feeling like the weight of the world was mine and for the life of me could not make sense of my an adult and mother everything has come full circle and I am a reliable ally to my daughter as I understand her heart<3 if we all just did one kind thing each day.....sigh:)

  3. We love him too! I love this post :)
    I am now following from the GFC blog hop

    Pretty Living PDX

    1. Thank you...I was feeling very vulnerable about sharing, but feel so strongly that we are on track to do what is best! Thanks so much for stopping by!

  4. I am feeling so out of touch with you and missing you even more than ever! I stop by now and then to check up on you and see how things are going. Sounds like things are going in the right direction. I am so happy for you, even though it is so hard right now, it is all for the best in the long run!

  5. Hey Jenn! I am still around and kicking:) We need to get together sometime! I still have the same phone # and me if you don't have it! I do not get to Ogden much anymore which is good and bad! I miss the mall! And of course Javier! Hope all is well in your neck of the woods! Thanks for checking in:))


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